Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
