You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
