Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
