The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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