I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
