i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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