Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
