How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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