dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you would pick up someone in the library
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
