It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
