Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
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