She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
