nutella sex= disaster
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
