Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
