Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
