Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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