lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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