I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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