i think my mom watched the whole time
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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