He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
