JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
