I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
