Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
