i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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