remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
