the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She's the barista slut.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
