if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
