I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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