I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
