you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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