The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
