margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
