some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
