I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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