Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
