I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
