I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
