As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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