Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
