wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
