Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We are all done wearing pants today
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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