Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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