he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
