Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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