Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
