I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
