Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
