is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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