Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
