Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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