I want to stick my p in your. b.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
