i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
