ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
